“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” -Martha Washington
Quotes about “happiness” and whatnot can never do how I feel justice, but it’s close as it’s gonna get. I have never truly realized the concept of creating my own happiness until now. Very few know the things I have been going through and the things I am faced with because I am good at holding it all in, but somehow, I manage to keep plugging along. The human body is relentless. This is definitely the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but I know that once it’s all behind me, I will be stronger than ever. I always used to roll my eyes when people would say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” but now I can finally see how this may be true. I’ll believe it when I see it, but it seems like a truer saying now more than ever. I won’t air my dirty laundry to the world, but those of you that know what’s going on will understand what I mean. I couldn’t do any of it without the love and support of my amazing friends and family, (as per usual).
For the first time ever, I live alone. I love it, but it’s really testing my fearlessness. I used to think I wasn’t afraid of ANYTHING. This is still mostly true, but this house is testing that. I live in the ghetto, for lack of a better word. I have already had a few scary instances and close calls, but all I can say is thank goodness for my pepper spray and my yappy dog. I miss Ashland SO much. Medford is definitely a whole new world despite being right down the interstate. But like everything else, I will be just fine and will use my lack of fear and my strong instincts to my advantage.
As I mentioned, I LOVE living by myself. I have a little yard to take care of, everything is mine, and I can sing at the top of my lungs and walk around naked. What could get better than that?! I have decided I will never live with a roommate again until I am living with the person I am going to marry. Life is just so much better when I can be free and do what I want.
I have spent the summer working (still at the Housing Office at SOU), nannying for two amazing families, reading (finally started the Harry Potter series for the first time), writing, running, and watching my pup grow while attempting to train him. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I’m not taking summer classes, I don’t have textbooks to order, and I don’t have homework to worry about. It feels good, but at the same time, I feel like there’s something I should be doing. I know I’ll get used to it and that’s one beauty of teaching: I’ll always be in school!
Lastly, I don’t usually speak of myself like this but I’m going to right now. I’m a catch. Yeah, I said it. I love myself and I know that someday, I will make a wonderful wife. I have so much love in my heart and if I do-say-so-myself, I am pretty darn easy to get along with. Okay, I’m done. You’ll probably never hear me talk like that again, but I just had to say it because I’m realizing it now more than ever as I watch others around me.
I hope this post finds you well, and I hope you find your happiness while I am maintaining mine. Until next time, love and light.