I had quite the off day today. Maybe it was because it’s Friday and maybe I’m just worn out. But I had a lot of trouble with first period for a number of different reasons. One of my students simply couldn’t sit still. He got up multiple times in the middle of a lecture for nonsense reasons: to pick up a random pen, to knock another student’s paper off his desk, to sharpen his pencil, and to get hand sanitizer. I told him multiple times that he needs to stay seated while I’m talking but I couldn’t stop it. On top of that, when he was actually seated, he was blurting out, making jokes, and talking to others. After about fifteen minutes of this game, I snapped. Well, “snapping” for me is getting mad in the first place, which is a rare occurrence. I sent him out of the room and had my Cooperating Teacher (CT) take over. I had a conversation with him about building his tolerance to sit still. He seemed to understand and apologized. He even came to me after class to apologize again! Although it seemed to all work out in the end, it threw me off for the rest of the day. The rest of my students didn’t get the best of me because of one little incident. I need to not let little things get to me because it’s not fair to the rest of my students that weren’t involved in any way.
I took work off today to attend a workshop on the Literacy in Elementary Education portion of the ORELA licensure test. I felt like it would be beneficial for me to go over what a child in elementary school needs to learn how to read and write and develop as a speaker, reader, and writer. Some of the information was helpful, but I don’t feel like I got as much out of it as I could. I feel like at this point, I am simply jumping through all the hoops to get what I want. I have always been one to love school, but I am coming to the point of burning out. I am no longer engaged in the classroom with the graduate classes because my mind is in another classroom. I feel like I learn more for my students than I could ever learn sitting at a desk taking notes on “How to Be a Good Teacher.” I spend my time thinking about what lesson I’m going to present tomorrow, what I want my students to learn, and how I can best maximize our time in class. But instead, I spend 20 hours a week sitting in classes and jumping through the hoops. It’s all part of the process I guess. And maybe someday I’ll look back and think “Oh, I learned that in grad school!” But for the first time ever, I don’t want to go to class. I want to be with my students. My time with them gets cut way too short and then I have to go to class. But that’s life and soon enough, I will be engulfed by students.
Everyone has off days, and this is one of mine. Good thing it’s the weekend and I can re-energize and recuperate. I will be ready to go on Monday morning, bright and early!